Thursday 25 March 2010

Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen! For Your Pleasure...

My new job is going well, thanks for asking. I’m not going to say too much about it in case my cover gets blown and I get busted slagging it off online, but let’s just say it is a customer service role that includes a bit of old lady action. So far said old lady action has been a bit tame compared to this fond memory from my previous job, which I will present in the form of a play.

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Dramatis Personae

ME, a worker drone skilfully mixing the tasks of stock replenishment and customer service

OLD LADY, selecting cucumbers, a bit frisky for an old bird

SAM, a fellow drone, just going for his lunch break

OLD MAN, pretending to choose potatoes while he eavesdrops
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Act I, Scene I
A fruit shop


OLD LADY: I can't believe supermarkets chuck out cucumbers because they're not straight enough. What difference does it make?

ME: You'll take them any old way. Straight or bendy.

OLD LADY (laughing): When you get to my age you'll take what you can get.

{Enter SAM, putting his jacket on]

SAM: I'm getting a sandwich. Do you want anything while I’m out?

ME: Yeah...

OLD LADY: More importantly, do you want it straight or bendy?

ME: Erm... I’ll have it straight I think.

OLD MAN (as if talking to himself): Aye, straight in the mouth.

THE END

1 comment:

  1. i've heard that story many a time, though it never gets old.

    ReplyDelete