I woke up this morning with that usual guilt and furry mouth that welcomes each new year. Ah, the future. I was wondering when it was going to get here.
Last night Lynne was playing a gig while I stayed in with the baby. I was equipped with formula milk and Infacol. I watched the BBC Hogmanay diddly-dee programme. I couldn’t hear it because the baby screamed pretty much constantly from 7pm to within a half hour of the bells. Doctor P came around with a couple of beers, but he quickly moved onto the port and fell asleep. I was glad he was there though; you can’t really strangle your child if someone else is watching. I even deployed the Paul Simon to no avail. After trying everything I could think of, including just ignoring her and staring dully into space, I finally managed to calm her down by holding her face down along my arm with her head hanging over my elbow, joggling her up and down and rubbing her tummy. Ten minutes of this treatment was enough to release an explosive series of farts, after which she fell asleep.
At midnight she woke up, bright and cheery, as if nothing had happened. But I won’t forget. I’m going to save it up for the wedding speech.
Last night Lynne was playing a gig while I stayed in with the baby. I was equipped with formula milk and Infacol. I watched the BBC Hogmanay diddly-dee programme. I couldn’t hear it because the baby screamed pretty much constantly from 7pm to within a half hour of the bells. Doctor P came around with a couple of beers, but he quickly moved onto the port and fell asleep. I was glad he was there though; you can’t really strangle your child if someone else is watching. I even deployed the Paul Simon to no avail. After trying everything I could think of, including just ignoring her and staring dully into space, I finally managed to calm her down by holding her face down along my arm with her head hanging over my elbow, joggling her up and down and rubbing her tummy. Ten minutes of this treatment was enough to release an explosive series of farts, after which she fell asleep.
At midnight she woke up, bright and cheery, as if nothing had happened. But I won’t forget. I’m going to save it up for the wedding speech.
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