I finally cracked and went to baby bounce and sing at the library. Not sure about it really. There were a whole bunch of other parents there with their tiny children and we sat round in a big circle on the floor singing ‘The Wheels on the Bus’, ‘Incy-Wincy Spider’ and that sort of thing. My daughter is obviously a bit young for singing, or even for knowing what is going on, but she seemed to like gawping at the other kids.
I had to do all the singing for both of us. This was difficult, I think I am more of a solo warbler than a sing-a-long in harmony kind of guy, or maybe it was just my shameful inhibitions kicking in, but sitting round singing nursery rhymes in a public place seemed to me a pretty grim thing to do.
It’s a bit dodgy as well. If one of the kids starts crying it can set them all off in a wave of woe that spreads inexorably across the room. And that’s appalling. The library has a wooden train in the junior section for the kids to play on, and a little girl fell on it, smacked her head and started screaming. All the parents froze in horror, but not because of the little girl. I looked down and saw the baby’s bottom lip start to tremble.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ I said. ‘Give it a couple of years and you’ll think that’s hilarious.’
I admit that that is not the nicest thing I could of said. Luckily no one else heard me. And the baby doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about anyway.
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