There is an election tomorrow. It's hard to know which way to go without jeopardizing my Family Tax Credits. My local MP, who is standing for re-election, can't even be arsed with his flyer. The section with his fat face on it with a quote from some constituent is entitled 'endorser header', which is surely the title off the template. And the bit where he states his policies, lots of the sentences end with a (?), as if they hadn't decided what they were going to put there. But they printed it anyway. The cock's name is John Robertson and he is standing for Glasgow North West. He doesn't give a fuck.
I'm starting to think that I live in one of those constituencies where my vote won't really count.
I'll be voting tomorrow anyway. I won't say who for, it is meant to be a secret ballot, but I will refer to the Guardian Weekend magazine, which contained a nice little set of interviews with the prime ministerial candidates and a cluster of other politicians. They were asked what their favourite colour was, what team they supported, things like that. When asked which living person they most admired they all said, every motherfucking one of them, they said Nelson Mandela.
I've nothing against Nelson Mandela, good guy, but get a fucking imagination.
I asked Lynne which living person she most admired. 'Helena Bonham Carter,' she replied. 'How does she get her hair to do that?'
Me, I would say Morgan Freeman. When he played Nelson Mandela in that film. He played God once as well.
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